#namingfail

Naming your company/shop/restaurant/bar is fraught with problems – it’s got to be original, you want to get the .com (or your country domain if you’re not in the US) and it is all part of the brand you’re creating.

There’s really no secret formula to getting it right (who would have thought to name a bookstore after a river?) but after seeing a number of stand-out examples ranging from names that spark emotions from indifference to fear, I thought it would be fun to share.

Standard Tandoori
There’s a lot of Indian restaurants in the UK called Standard Tandoori. The thing is stating you’re ‘ok/alright/average’ is hardly a great example of using your name as a positioning statement. (Image credit readingrestaurants.com)

Nemesis
In case you’re wondering this place is a ‘Herna’ bar or ‘gaming establishment’. It’s a 24 hour bar with fruit machines. Whereas other similar places in the city have aspirational names like ‘Vegas Herna’ and ‘Monte Carlo’ this place went right out and said ‘we are your worst enemy’. I admire their honesty.

Scarface
OK, so Al Pacino in Scarface is cool but would you drink at his bar? The connotations of gangsters and illegal activity don’t really help here.

Corleone
Sticking with that gangster theme, Corleone, named after one of the most sinister crime families. I’m hoping they’re as good at pizza as they were at offing people.

SICK
Seriously, these people have the word ‘SICK’ on the top of their building in 20 ft high letters. It seems they make sensors, touting their ‘sensor intelligence’. Makes you wonder what caused them to not check in an English dictionary first though.
To be fair a number of these examples are in Prague. Maybe it’s the Czech sense of humour. Or Maybe they just think these names sound cool. Then again how can you explain a bar named literally ‘Bad Times’ in Czech?